Bullying – how to be part of the solution

Millions of people are victims everyday worldwide because the simple matter of being who they are, not looking like the predominant social standard.

 

 

May the gyms or training fields be other places where the stalkers can find new victims, or insist with who are already?  The answer is yes – it’s going to depend on you, trainer, this stops or corrects.

 

The bullying consists in, during a lapse of time, stalking somebody purposed to injure the self-esteem, or forcing to segregate out from a bunch of people. The agressions can be physical, psychological, verbal, sexual, social, an even laboral (mobbing).

 

The reason why you must not allow the bullying in your gym or training field is as simple as the attendants go to learn, perfect by contending themselves. So, if you detect the competitive spirit opens a chance to the aggression to the contender, you must stop the situation immediately.

 

The ideal would be your place has a clear written regardin rule (for example: bullyin is not allowed here). But the truth is that, whether a rule or not, the stalkers ever will look for the way to injure. That’s why we give you here some urgent ideas you can apply while the parties look for specialized professional advisory for healing that situation.

 

 

As a trainer:

• Have clear your behavior rules: They must be based upon the respect, they must be shown with right facts. If your pupils see you stalk, although you reprimend them, they’ll understand they have an understood permission to stalk.
• Choose carefully the ways you are going to encourage your pupil: It’s not the best idea comparing to other ones, or, if he doesn’t do the routines with the intensity you expect, the better would be asking why his performance is not the wished before disqualifying him.
• Don’t do a party with the stalkers neither the victim: More than neutral, remind them you are the leader in the room or at the field, so if they are not capable to respect themselves, they respect on you at least. You don’t have to scream it but to say it straight.
• Don’t ignore the aggression, don’t encourage it neither: Make the gym or the training field to be a kind place for everyone. But neither act like nothing happens because the indifference, in this case, is more dangerous than any kind of action due to it can get like agreement or complicity.

 

 

Against the stalker(s):

• Once you have identified who stalk, talk one by one and in private. Your message has to be clear and straight – at least inside the gym or the training field, that behavior is not allowed.
• If the Stalker(s) relapse(s), call the attention in public. The message and the tone must be exactly the same. If you can add you are not going to tolerate it once again, that could work.
• If both previous rules don’t work and your gym or training field has a written anti-bullying policy, apply the top penalty.
• Never let the stalkers join you into their party. Usually, who stalk empower when they make the victim to believe it’s not about their bunch but there are much more people beside them. When you say them you are not part of the aggression, this begins to weaken.
• If the Stalker(s) is (are) under legal age, contact the parents or tutors and explain the situation as well as your position about.
• Don’t add exhausting training routines as a punishment. The true penalty for the stalker(s) is not doing two additional sets or staying 30 minutes more but to have restricted access to the place or services you offer.
• It’s probable the stalkers cancel their membership or fee. Don’t see it like a lose – see it like an affirmative action which looks for protecting the positive experience of working out at the gym or the training field.

 

 

With the victim:

• Talk in private, let clear he must take action to block the aggressions in an assertive way, and that you don’t see any reason for he to ashame, feel fear or guilt.
• If he needs to talk to you, give the proper space and time. Remember you are the leader at the gym or training field. So, if you’re not trustworthy, who more he could vent with what he feels? Check out this guide if you need more orientation.
• It’s not enough to say “you gotta be strong”. It’s necessary to give effective, smart ideas to accomplish it. If you own the proper psychological or pedagogic resources, offer them. If not, refer the victim to specialized professional advisory – the most is free.
• Regarding the previous, never advise to respond the aggression with a larger aggression – the violence only borns more violence, and you’ll get more bruised in the end.
• Don’t revictimize – don’t expose the victim to a new aggression, in other words. Don’t overprotect, neither.
• Use the training to provide confidence and courage. But that doesn’t mean exhausting but teaching to feel proud of the achievements, understanding they all were reached based upon the own effort. It’s a very practical way to go educating on self- esteem.
• If we have recommended you not to be part of the stalking party, neither join a party with the victim. Keep in the middle but open to ssolve the conflicts breaking out between both parties.
• And don’t forget if the victim is under legal age, contact the parents or tutors to coordinate a supporting circle providing tools and resources to overcome the aggression episodes.
• If the victim decides to cancel his fee or membership, give the time and the space. Probably, he needs it to think better about the issue. Indeed, let clear the doors are ever open.

 

If you need more orientation, write us on our Twitter account or our e-mail: chulucanasgym@gmail.com